6 Parenting Tips That Lead to Accountability

We have come to the conclusion that the target we are aiming for as effective parents is to raise our kids so that they become responsible and successful young adults. Keeping this goal in focus, helps us hone our skills to that aim. At times, when the direction seems murky, coming back to this decision helps us decide which way to turn.

What are these effective parenting skills? Well, if you have a child who is acting out and talking back, there is a good chance he has hit a problem he cannot solve. Then keeping your goal in mind, teach them how to solve the problem. With this teaching also comes accountability. Let them know what will they can expect from their actions. Of course, you cannot hit every scenario, but give them a general idea, both for good choices and bad ones.

1. Start problem solving at a young age. It is much easier to teach them the basics when they are younger, like what to do if there are no clean socks in their drawer, and add to their arsenal as the problems become larger. This is helpful because it is easier to tackle the harder problems as they get older if they are not viewed as larger than life. It is important that we parents do not solve their problems for them.

2. Life Trainer. In order to point them towards being successful, responsible adults, we must patiently and unemotionally as possible, point them towards the goal. Support and encouragement are vital tools as effective parents. Still remembering to let the outcome of this learning process to be owned by the child.

3. Do as I do, not as I say. What? Yep that is how it really works. Your actions and words of course need to match. But if they don't, they are going to copy what you do. Calmly handling life's curveballs as their little eyes observe is your best teaching technique. Also let them start fending for themselves as soon as possible. Pushing the elevator button may seem like kids play, and looking at the directory to find the floor you need first, empowers them with life skills.

4. Strategies and solutions. Your job, being the effective parent that you are, is to figure out when they are ready to be taught and then what they are ready to learn. Confusing? Always start early and with the basics and you can't go wrong. Remember this is a long process so be patient. To quote Max Lucado "the definition of patience is to let your child do something that takes them 3 hours that you can do in 15 minutes".

5. Encourage their own problem solving techniques. When they start into adolescence, its time to let them try out what they have learned, on their own. Your job is to let go of more and more control, and praise and encourage their willingness to step up.

6. Recognize setbacks and failures as opportunities. Everyone experiences successes and failures. Kids can learn from both, probably more from the failures than from the successes. Also, keep the failures in perspective. Don't freak out when they make a mistake - use it as a teaching opportunity.

Parenting is a daunting task, especially when it comes to teenagers. Hopefully, these tips will help you to have the most effective parenting skills possible.

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Stop your kid's out-of-control, defiant behavior TODAY! Regain control of your house today. Now you can learn how to parent challenging kids at Julie and Matt's parenting journey blog.

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